Last night was a rough night with Reese. The worst is when they wake up RIGHT after you close your eyes and fall asleep. I got very little sleep, managed to slip on the stairs while holding her as an attempt to keep her quiet while I fetched a bottle. At 630 my mom finally came to get her and I slept til 9. During those 2.5 hours of solid sleep I had my 1st dream about Patrick. FINALLY! I've had so many of his good buddies tell me about some incredible dreams they have had about him but I haven't experienced a single one.. until now. My dream was pretty bizarre and I've decided if I have another I'm writing it all down first thing when I wake up.
I only remember bits and pieces but this is what I do remember... It was before the accident but for some reason I knew it was going to happen. I kept hugging and kissing him as much as I could, knowing what the future held. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to tell him or not say a word? I kept asking myself "Would I want to know I was going to die?" I think at some point in the dream I thought to post that question as my status on Facebook. Weird, right? It's not exactly the dream I was hoping for but I'll take it. For the past 11 months almost I've been scared to dream about Patrick. I've been scared of waking up to only realize what once was my reality is now only a dream. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around?
Your dreams becoming a reality?
Would you want to know when you are going to die?
15 comments:
oh erynn! i remember the first dream i had about my dad...for some reason, it made me feel better...then I started having more...most were the same (like I knew he was going to die) so I cherished every moment in the dream. I would not want to know when I was going to die...definitely not...xoxo <3
I have thought of that question often. I think the answer for me is no. Right until the moment my husband died, he LIVED. He didn't know it was coming, nobody did, and because of that we spend every moment we had together living and not grieving or fearing death. I don't think I would want to know either.
How nice that you got to dream of Patrick. May there be many more.
There's no way I'd want to know.
I'm glad you finally saw him in your dreams, E... and I hope he appears in many more.
So happy for you that you finally had a dream of P! I hope there's many more to come! I def would not want to know!
OK this is weird...I had a dream with P in it last night...it was me, you, P and Travis...we went over to Travis' house and me and you knew P wasn't supposed to be there...very bizarre...I probably had that dream because we were talking about this last night...
To answer your question.. No, I do not want to know when I will die as I think it will actually hinder the way I live my life - my choices and my emotions.. In saying that, I think we should all live as if today could be our last, showing love and respect to those we adore and cherishing everything we have.. I'm glad you finally had your dream Erynn..
I loved that you dreamt about Patrick E! I love that he is with you in spirit now at the new house ... I hope you have so many more wonderful dreams about the 4 of you together ... I'm sure you will ... as always your beautiful blog has given me chills ... you are always in my thoughts and I want you to know that you are my little inspiration to always try and be stronger and better for my family .... I know a wonderful future awaits you gorgeous, you so deserve it!xooxooxxo
Thank you Jess. xo
That is wonderful! I hope you have many more sweet dreams of Patrick.
aww I had chills that you dreamed about him!!!
That's wonderful he appeared in your dream. Recently, I heard a speaker on the radio discuss this and she stated when a loved one who has passed away appears in your dreams, they're letting you know that they're in the place they're supposed to be and are content. This person wrote a book and is psychic so not sure how to say that's a fact but it sure is a nice feeling. This will go against the grain of what everyone else has said but yes, I would want to know if it was my time. I want the chance to say goodbye.
P.S. This is my first post on your comments but I've read your blog from start to current and have been following for a few months now. Your wedding pictures and stories of your life with Patrick has moved me to tears many times. But I keep coming back. Please, keep writing.
I'm so glad you finally saw him. Maybe life has just been too hectic until now. I hope he continues to visit you in ways you can see. I still treasure every visit I get from Aaron and every little sign he sends. I love that you thought about FB in the dream, lol. To answer the question -- I honestly don't know. I would want to know so that I could get things in order, see everyone, etc. but I don't think the "life" I'd live during that time would really be living. I love that Aaron had one of the best weeks of his life up until the moment he crashed. Not sure it would have been that way had he known.
I am SO happy you finally had your dream. xo
I have been thinking about this post for about a week now and I am still not sure if I'd want to know or not. Part of me says yes and the rest says no way.
Like everyone else, I am so happy you dreamed about Patrick. Hopefully this is the first of many. Maybe he wanted to wait until you were in the new house as his way of making you feel at home there?
I think I would only want to know if I was told I would die at a very old age - but if I was going to die an untimely death, I wouldn't want to know in advance.
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