conitnued...

Just because I'm dating doesn't mean that everything that's happened in my life is behind me. I live with it every.single.day. The life experience I unwilling received at 24 is what most people will never experience in their entire lifetime. It will be with me forever. I'm just learning to live with it while trying to live the life I have left. A life I deserve. A life the kids deserve. I am 26 with two kids under 3. I never expected to be in the situation I am in today but I have to accept what God gives me and learn to adjust. I think to myself what Patrick would think or say and I know he would want me to be happy. He would never want me to be alone for the rest of my life. I know I wouldn't want him to be if the roles were reversed.

I've kept a lot of this to myself for several reasons. Since I've started dating it's definitely caused ripples in more ways than one. Creating situations I never thought would be brought upon me. It hasn't necessarily been easy to deal with. People come out of the woodworks to express their opinions, advice, happiness {or not} for me. It hasn't always been easy, especially for someone who tries to keep the peace and everyone happy. It actually brought on some stress and anxiety in the beginning. I'm just thankful to have a supporting family who backs my decisions 100%. They just want to see me smile and be happy. I've realized I can't worry about what others think. I can't worry about trying to keep everyone happy. It's just impossible. I have to focus on my happiness and the happiness of Will & Reese. No one is walking in my shoes and until they do {I don't wish that upon my worst enemy} they really have no idea what it's like. Will always tells me "Mommy, I'm happy" then he will ask, "Are you happy, mommy?" I love to hear that he is happy. It makes me feel like I'm doing a pretty damn good job keeping it together for them since Patrick died.

I think 2011 is going to be a good year!

dun.dadun.dun.dun

I know you are curious {or nosey} if I'm dating. Hey, don't think I haven't read the comments and don't post them on purpose. Well, I'm ready to tell you that yes, I am dating. It's not new news to all of you {family, friends and FB}. I started dating last year and have been dating someone for 7 months. Let me tell you- it takes a special someone to come into my situation. A special someone to accept all aspects of my life, my kids, my family and everything I've gone and continue to go through. More to come!

Happy 3rd Birthday Will!

My baby boy turned 3 yesterday! I honestly look at him and cannot believe that 3 years ago he was a newborn. Time is flying quickly and it's been a whirlwind 3 years. Happy Birthday Will! You bring so much joy into not only my life but so many others around you. I love you more than words can express!