thankful?

When I think of this word my nose begins to tingle and tears start to form. It is so hard to be thankful today, but I know I have a lot to be thankful for. Whenever I think about my situation, I think to myself, it could be worse. It's true, it could be a lot worse. However, as I count the blessings in my life today, they are followed by a "but..." And it's a big but.

For the past x amount of years, we always had Thanksgiving at my in-laws. My MIL is a exquisite chef and began preparation about a week before Thanksgiving Day. The stuffing and side dishes were always beyond delicious and low fat, right Debi? Bill wasn't a shabby BBQer himself.. One Thanksgiving he bought a turkey fryer and had to test it out. I remember if I walked remotely close to his fryer he would warm me and make me walk FAR around it so I didn't get splattered.

Proud of his fried turkey {and always making funny faces}

One tradition that I began to love at my IL's Thanksgiving were thankful cards. My MIL printed cards out each year that everyone in attendance filled out. They began with "This year I'm thankful for.... " She stored all the cards in a book to set out each Thanksgiving for guests to reflect back on. I loved reading what everyone was thankful for over the years. It was especially nice to see a certain guest here and there who weren't regulars each year. I chuckled at some of the things I wrote on those cards over the past 8 years.. but this year I don't think I'm ready to fill one out.