not that you really care, right? Sometimes I start writing and I just don't want to write anymore. Sometimes I think about posting photos, a Monday Memory, I start my post then just delete it. Some thoughts just need to stay in my head. I have so many thoughts and emotions things I want to say but I know how public my blog is and I worry sometimes it's just better I don't even go there. Should I care? No. Do I? Yes. I teeter between the thoughts of "What are people going to say or think?" and "F what they say/think. This is my life. Are they living it? No. I'd like to see them try."
I notice when I write/blog and express myself, I'm not carry it around with me. It's a release, to unload my emotional ups and downs on this roller coaster. It brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes when I read genuine, thoughtful comments from readers. It makes me feel good inside.
I have quite a few adventures I need to get blogging about.. but in the meantime here are some photos of what I've been keeping myself busy with.. instead of blogging. Tormenting my kids, riding a dirt bike for the 1st time, lifting scary ass things over my house with huge cranes. You know, typical stuff.
36 comments:
Oh these pictures are just too cute!!! I am cracking up at the first one, what a memory!
You just keep doing what you are doing Erynn and we will be here for you...even if its just on the internet! I just love hearing your stories and have also enjoyed browsing through your blog. It seems like you have always had so much love surrounding you.
Thank you for sharing with me=)
-Robin
(sorry don't have google account)
You just have to do whatever you have to do to get by... and be happy as best you can. No explanations, no reasoning, you just do what is right for you. You are doing a beautiful job with those kids.... I think of you and your family all the time. I hope we can all meet up again soon! xoxo
I say let it all out girl! I love the pics of your kiddos! They are so cute! Big hug!
You win for best Easter bunny picture ever! That's what my 6 yr old looks like around those dressed up people. :)
If it didn't seem so creepy, I swear I'd make an album of hilarious photos of kiddos like yours taking pics with Santa and the Easter Bunny. They CRACK ME UP!
Anyhow, seems like you've been busy, I'm glad! I love reading the updates and seeing you having some fun. Talk to you soon lady!
Please don't ever let anyone's negative comments affect you (I know easier said that done)! No one has to walk in your shoes and no one has the right to make any kind of statement (other than positive) about how you live your life. Life's to short and you only get to live it once!
I literally laughed out loud when I looked at the Easter bunny pic with your kids....GREAT photo!
You are always in my thoughts and prayers!
You should be able to use this blog as your outlet...F*** all those people who say anything negative to you!
Gotta love the "Screaming, mommy come get me" Easter bunny pic! Too cute!
Personally, I think you should say what you have to say. If that's not what you want for this blog, then start another one and make it for you. For a release.
Second, your kids are darling. That Easter picture should be sent into Ellen so that she can put it as a part of her "bad paid-for pictures" skit that she does...
Lastly, wtf is that thing flying over your house!?!?!?!
Erynn I have found in the last few days how JUDGEMENTAL people can be about others lives. They want to judge the things we openly share about, things that make us who WE are as individuals. I felt I needed to sensor my life and the things important to me so I deleted some people off FB and Twitter, but that wont stop them from talking or thinking what they want. I really had to decide what I wanted to do with my blog but finally said EFF them. This is where I go to for an outlet source and have in the end made some GREAT REAL life friends because of it.
Your blog is YOU. Your blog was YOU before your life changed. Let it keep being you. People appreciate it and its inspiration to others.
Screw what others think or might say. You live your life the way you know how.
Hugs.
Adorable pics! Reese is such a cutie and Will is looking so grown up! I want to see more pics of your new house than the half of it in the pic!
I say if letting it all out on your blog makes you feel better than by all means share! If people don't like it they don't have to read and I don't understand why they would feel the need to make negative comments. I know it's hard but try not to let the negative nellies get to ya! Remember there are prob 20+ (prob more but i had to pick a # to start somewhere) positive comments for every 1 negative and tons of us in blogger land that do care!
Do what you need to do for you and your family first and remember the rest of us are always here to listen (or read)! You were dealt a crappy stack of cards and from what i've seen your doing a fabulous job at rebuilding and keeping the game going!
Keep on swimmin'!!!
Erynn, those pictures made me literally laugh out loud. I'm glad you can laugh too. You know, I've known you since you were a little girl and I see you have grown into a very articulate young lady. I'm glad you have such a loving family surrounding you. I think of you and your family often. Take care,
Karen McGhee
Since you can't share online on a public blog, I will just pretend that you are having very naughty, very exciting adventures out there. With a hot billionaire.
Love the pics. Up until my daughter was 4 she cried with the Easter Bunny and Santa. Love the Reese's is all girly girl going through your handbag and makeup. Too cute! Kiddo's are gorgeous. Keep doing what you're doing. Live your life as best as you can and most importantly be happy.
so happy to see your post - love hearing about your family - i check everyday and think of you all so often!
Best Easter Bunny photo ever!
I know what you mean about not wanting to share. You're really dammned if you do, dammned if you don't. When we lost my brother, some expected us to just pick up the pieces and move on. Others gave awkward glances if we showed up at a social function.
"Everything happens for a reason" is my least favorite saying. I'm faithful, but there is no reason for such terrible things to happen to people with so much ahead of them. I feel for you and your internal struggle of putting on the brave face for your kids and cying on the inside. It appears through your blog, that you're doing what you can to move forward in the best way for you. That's all you can do. xo
It is your life and your blog and we are always here for you if and when you need a listening ear.
Dont care for the people who judge other's life ..when they are not in your "shoes"
the pics are too cute liked the one with bunny :)
You're out busy living life. Much more important than sitting behind the computer. When all is said and done and I'm going to remember the time I spent chasing after Natalie, not the time spent sitting behind the computer.
agree with pp, you should be able to use your blog as YOU see fit, screw anyone who doesn't agree! and oh my goodness, that first pic is GREAT! poor babies, but YEAH, so worth the photo opp ;)
Love the way cute bunny picture...to funny! What in the world is hanging over your house??? It's huge!!! This is your blog and you should say/type anything you'd like. What sweet kids you have and what an amazing woman and mother you are. I started following your blog a few weeks ago; you've been through a lot and you deserve the best! Also, riding a bike...awesome!!!
really excited to hear about the motor cross adventure! I'm sure it's hard to not be as open as you want and it sucks that people would ever judge you. You take care of yourself(as you have been doing) and that's all that matter xoxo
This is your blog. Say what you want/need to say and f*** anyone who doesn't respect that right.
I have a very similar picture of my daughter visiting Santa this year. She was literally jumping off his lap screaming 'Mama!' (she was 15 months at the time). I don't think we'll even try the Easter bunny this year.
I am a lurker that found you from Matt's blog and I just have such admiration for you. I know sometimes it must be so, so hard, harder than I can ever imagine, but your positive spirit and love for your children and P. always comes through in your writing. Thank you for sharing with us.
Lorna
(also I have to thank you for introducing me to the Golden Shop on Etsy. I just ordered my daughter a 'Big Sister to Bee' t-shirt from there, in the hopes I will soon be able to put her in it to announce a pregnancy to our families.)
Do what works!! Anyone who doesn't support you doesn't deserve your love and friendship. Miss seeing you at bunco, but glad I am able to keep on your blog. :)
Courtney couldn't have said it any better. I agree completely. I hope all is well. Your kids are beautiful! Keep your head up :)
Life is a series of ups and downs and random acts of good and evil, etc. Lucky for you (that was sarcastic), you got the bad stuff early on in your life through no fault of your own or anyone else. I'm sure that each day for you is filled with thoughts of "what ifs" and "what now?". I bet it's hard to focus sometimes. . .
Writing is such a great release and I encourage you to write whatever you want. Take it from this old lady. . . the time honored saying that "you can't please everyone" is the absolute truth.
So, where does that leave you? Make decisions that YOU can live with and that YOU are comfortable with. Those who judge you are not your true friends (and even not very good family members sometimes). We ALL make mistakes but we do the best we can with the circumstances we are in.
I just know that one day you will be in a better place . . . you are on the journey to get there. Soooo, I agree with the others. . . say what you want when you want. Vent! And at the end of the day, those who love you and support you will not think any less of you!
Sending you hugs!
Joanne
That is an awesome Easter bunny picture! :) so cute! I have a feeling this year will bring lots more exciting adventures. Keep doing what you are doing! I hope you have been smiling lors snd doing well!
Xoxo,
Kelly
Awww look at the bunny pic! hahahahahhaaha!
Love your blog and love the way you are living your very special life with those beautiful kiddies.
You are awesome hunny! Keep up everything you are doing! xoxoxoxoxoxo
Your story & mine are very similar - same age, married about the same time, husbands died around the same time in very similar ways. The difference now is, I don't have your courage to publicly blog about my life. I've been reading your blog since I discovered it through another widow's blog, and keeping up with your journey has helped me a lot. Just wanted to let you know.
Your kids are adorable and it looks like you've been quite busy with your hands full.
Erynn,
I am friend of a friend and I came across your blog. Every time I read it. I don't know you but you make me tear up. You are one of the strongest women I know. I think you are very courageous and you just need to say what you want. This is your life, you are living it, no one else can be in your shoes. It is very healthy to get out in writing then bottling it inside and never releasing. You keep doing what you are doing, being a strong mom, a loving/mourning wife, and devoted to what you are doing, because you are doing it all and you deserve much more than just a pat on the back. I hope that this makes sense to you and if not I apologize if I am out of context.
Erin, I am so sorry that you are struggling. Say what you need to say on the blog. It is yours to do and say as your please. No one else has to live your life, feel your emotions and make your decisions. Do what you need to do for you and your gorgeous little family.
Have a lovely Easter. Thinking of you...
Bec.
OMG these pictures are TOO funny! I love the Easter one! Your new layout is SUPER cute!
I say F*** it and write it all down. I use my blog to purge everything! I beat on the keyboard for a while and when I stand up and walk out of the office I feel so much lighter and better.
No one has been in your exact shoes and should never judge anything you say. If they do, there is something wrong with them, not you.
You are amazing and I admire the way you have found your strength!
I love the pictures! The Easter one should be in some sort of magazine. That is the BEST picture ever :o)
I say that if it helps you get through the day to lay it all out, then you should. Don't worry what people say. I think most people just like to see how you're doing, and if they're like me, love to see pictures of your kids. I hope you have a wonderful Easter with your family. God bless.
This is your way to express how YOU are doing, feeling, coping and mothering! Don't let what others might think ~ they are not in your situation and have no right to judge you!
As a visitor to your blog I so enjoy your stories and memories...they make me smile, cry, laugh and remember when my son was Will's age.
You have such a terrific support group that will rally around you, support you and even defend you for no other reason than they love you and your family!
The pictures are great! They really are funny in a good way...:0
Be yourself and know that people really care about YOU!
Happy Easter to you and your family.
I stumbled upon your blog one day and kept checking back in because I enjoyed reading your posts. I can't believe anyone would presume to tell you what to think or how to live. I can't say anything more than your friends here have said, just wanted to let you know (as an outsider), that from what you post, you should be incredibly proud of yourself--you are incredibly strong, so hold your head up high! :-)
You have such an amazing gift for writing it would be a shame for you to have to sensor that. Writing is a wonderful thing and if nothing else it will be written down so that you can share your wonderful memories with your kids. Memories unfortunatly fade and its great if you can get them down while fresh in your mind.
Writing, for me, has always been cathartic whether I publish a blog publicly or not. Sometimes I publish on MySpace, later go back and reread it and think "shucks, who cares anyway" and then delete it. But it made me feel better to release my thoughts through writing which is always easier for me than thru talking.
Be yourself and do what heals you.
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