I considered myself pretty lucky in that department. I know dads who had never changed a diaper before their kid arrived. When I look at Will, I think back to his stage at the time of the accident.. which is pretty much the stage Reese is at right now. I can't help but wonder what it would be like, to have Patrick here. To build train tracks, to play catch with Will, to take him on hikes and throw rocks in the pond. As Will progressed to the next stage in his life, Patrick was so eager to do new things with him. I just know he'd be having so much fun with the stage Will is at right now.. but instead, they are both missing out. I wonder to myself how attached Will would be to Patrick... and I always thinking back to Patrick swooping him up into his arms after he walked in the door from work. I now envision Will running into his arms as Patrick lifts him into the air to hug him. I think about Patrick wanting to be a dad so badly and yet only able to experience one short year of Will's life. I see Will smile and I reassures me that he is a happy kid but I still can't help but hurt knowing that once day he will know what has happened and his heart will hurt too.
14 comments:
big hug erynn<3 Just remember Patrick is a part of him...he'll always have a piece of his dad with him and he'll have you to tell him about all the wonderful memories. im sure whens he's older and becomes a father he'll be instinctually good at it because he has patrick with him:) His will always be there..thats what i like think Have a wonderful day
It must be so hard to think off all those things. I can;t even imagine. Will and Reese are amazing, so whatever strength you show for them is really amazing. They get so much love, and have yet to know how much they have lost already =( You have a done so much for them. Love you all xoxo
You are such a wonderful mom! I know there are a lot of single moms that raise kiddos alone after they get a divorce, but some have an ex husband that can help them out if need be. There is only one of you and you are doing such an amazing job. I feel selfish thinking last week- How will I manage 2 when the time comes. I am lucky to have an amazing husband that is a wonderful hands on dad. So I know if you can do it I should be ok. You are like super woman!! :O)
I think about your loss everyday, I don't even know you but you and your family are always in my prayers. I can't even come close to imagining what it's like for you and your children, God bless you guys. I'm so sorry you (and your children) have to go through this life without him :(
It breaks my heart to know how much that little guy has and will miss out on, and how short Patrick's time was with him. And how he never got to meet his baby girl. It is just SO unfair. But thankfully you and your family can share so many wonderful memories, pictures and even videos you have of Patrick with Will and Reese. They will always know how much he loved them.
Aw, sweet lady. I can't imagine what it feels like to go through these things in your head. You are doing such an amazing job with these little people... sending you big hugs!
Will and Reese will always have a part of Patrick. Sending you hugs XXX My heart aches for you and the kiddos... I lost my dad when I was 13... and I still think of the what if's...
Hi there. I stumbled upon your blog and I'm so sorry that you're on this journey. Your children are simply precious. I believe Patrick is looking down on you with a big smile, he would be so proud.
Praying for you in AR,
Kimberley
Oh Erynn. I'm so sorry! With all the photos and video you have, the kids will know what an amazing father, grandfather, and husbands Patrick and Bill were!! {HUGS} Sending you my love and prayers
i am so sorry for your loss.
Sorry if this is random but I was looking at your old posts and saw your wedding pictures. You looked amazing. Can you give (me), an upcoming bride some advice on how you got in shape and what you ate? Your body looked amazing! Thanks in advance!
BOTH Will and Reese will have some hurt at some point over what they have lost. Reese might feel it more since she has been cheated out of never meeting her dad. Unfortunately, the loss of their father is now a part of their history and their story. The best thing you can do for them is to keep Patrick a part of their lives through photos and stories. With a positive depiction of their dad, they will come to accept what happened and will move forward with love in their hearts knowing what kind of a man he was and how much he loved them.
I'm just sorry that you have to go through this. . .
This made me cry. I dont know how you do it. You and your family are on quite a journey and I know you will come out ok in the end. Sending you big hugs and I just wanted to let you know that I think of you and your family everyday.
I noticed your from the oc and I have a friend who lost her husband 2 1/2 yrs ago and was pregnant as well 3 months along and also had a 4 yr old at the time he died at 34 yrs old of a heart attack.She has a website so young oc moms can connect and support eachother. She lives in ladera and i think you would love her and get great insight on how she coped with losing and loving again. Visit her website and contact her at youngocwidows.com you can mention dee sent you to your website. I also know she will have support groups at her house with other young widows hope this helps any. I do love reading your blog.Your a strong girl!!!
^ thank you so much for the info!
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