On Thursday the kids and I head to Colorado. My brother-in-law is getting married on Saturday. They are getting married on the property that Patrick was working on back in January... which was to be his last trip before Reese arrived.
Flying to Colorado means landing at the same airport they took off from that January morning.
Flying to Colorado means driving past the crash site.
Flying to Colorado means spending time at the ranch they worked so hard on.
The same place they spent their last night at.
Flying to Colorado means being there, without them,
when they were supposed to be there with us.
This is not going to be easy.
inhale....
45 comments:
I know as Fall arrives, this is the first of many difficult times to come. But I don't doubt that you will make it through each one of these events without the same grace, strength, surrounding love and support that you have had over these last 8 months, and what you will continue to have in the coming months and forever. I will be thinking about you (and your family) extra this weekend. xoxo.
Good luck erynn! I will be thinking about you this weekend!
Trying to keep the tears from falling - I'm at work reading this. I wish I could give you, Debi, Colin, Sean and Jana all the courage you need on this very special weekend. I wish Sean and Jana all the joys the world has to offer. I know you all will face a myriad of emotions this weekend but I hope a feeling of peace and contentment, in knowing that Bill and Patrick worked so hard to make this weekend special, rules over all. They will be there in your hearts; I'm certain you will feel their presence even if you can't see them. May God shower his blessings and love on all of you.
Stay strong Erynn. ((Hugs)) You will get through it, and so many people will be thinking of you. Hang in there.
I was dreading this day for you...I didn't realize it was here already. I hope & pray that this weekend goes by as quickly as possible for you.
You, R and W and your MIL will be in my prayers ( as always) but lots of extra prayers this weekend.
Patrick and your FIL will be there. When you feel the wind blow its Patricks embrace.
<3
You will have so many people praying for you this weekend, Erynn.
praying for you.
Love the new layout. Looks great!
Holding you up in thoughts and prayer for safe travels and the ability to enjoy your brother in laws wedding..
hard hard hard!!!
Try your best to enjoy the special day!! Hope your taking pictures--I love your posts
Kris in MN
OMG, Erynn, I wish I could say something that would make this trip a little easier for you, but my mind is blank. The whole trip will be so bittersweet for you and your entire family. I still pray that your BIL will have a wonderful wedding and you all know Patrick and Bill will be there in spirit with you.
Stay strong!
You are in my prayers for a safe and wonderful trip.
oh my goodnes, what a difficult situation...good luck to you! you're doing the right thing...breath in and breath out...
This sounds like it will be so hard. I hope that when you are on the other side of this trip, you will be strengthened, and maybe help you through the grieving process? Regardless, I will be praying for you, and your mother in law. The Lord will carry you through girl, hang in there. xo
I am going to send you thoughts and prayers of strength. Gosh it breaks my heart you have to do this so soon. I cannot imagine how hard this is going to be. I will be thinking of you xoxo and speaking of blogs that make me cry, yours always gets to me.
good luck Erynn! You can do it. You have been so incredibly strong through everything, this will be something great for you to do. Have a safe trip!
I have been thinking of you, knowing that this weekend was coming. There is nothing that anyone can say to help make this easier. It will be difficult and trying, but you are a strong woman who has the love and support of your friends and family.
Try your best to relax and enjoy the beautiful wedding. P & B ARE there with you, enjoying every sip of champagne and toast. Every tear shed, both happy and sad. They're there.
xoxo
Wow. I can't imagine how difficult this trip is going to be. My hope for you is that the pain will be somewhat lessened by the joyous occasion you will be celebrating. Good luck and just keep breathing. xoxo
Oh man. I've been thinking about this day for you, and I can't believe that it is already here. May God give you and your MIL the extra strength you need to get through this weekend. And know that the boys will be looking down on you all, smiling and proud, not only because they are really there with you guys in spirit, but in that they had a big part in making this day become a reality for your BIL and his future wife. There are a lot of people thinking of you even more so during this hard time. Who knows, maybe you'll even find a little piece of peace during this trip :) And maybe a little more strength (if that's at all possible) to help you through any times to come. I pray for that for you. Good Luck.
I'll be thinking of you and wishing you strength.
Sending you a big hug!!!!
xo
Jacki
I'll be thinking of you and your MIL, as well as the babes and the rest of the family.
Erynn, I don't know you and can't remember how I stumbled upon your blog but have been following for some time now. I'll be thinking of you this weekend and sending positive vibes from my end of the world (Toronto, Canada). I can't imagine how hard it is for you and think you're a remarkable woman for being able to endure what you have and continue to be an excellent mom and role model for your children.
Sending you only good wishes,
Lisa
Deep breath Erynn... It will be bittersweet... try to enjoy the day... take lots of pictures... be strong and know that P and your FIL will be there with you! Sending you hugs XX and safe flight and a good weekend! XX
I will be praying for you Erynn!!
I will be thinking and praying for you. xoxo!
God bless you and your family, Erynn. He is with you in your suffering, and so He will give you strength. I'll be praying.
I don't even know you and reading this post put a knot in my stomach. Having knowledge of your life, this tragedy (via yor blogs), makes even a perfect stranger understand the pain your feeling. Hopefully the fact that your visit, & P's visit was for this wedding has helped you realize that this is what they'd want. Its not going to be easy, but your strength will continue to amaze you and us all. Wishing you a safe trip............
It's going to be hard. But you can do it. So sit back, have a good time and you might even cry some but that's okay. You might even cry a lot but that's okay too. You will be with family and that's what matters. P will be there too, you just might not be able to see him but you'll feel him, I'm sure. You'll make it great!
Sending you ALL of my love Erynn. Reading this made me tear up and get a lump in my throat because, well, I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now, but I am sure trying to, and I am SO sorry. Know I will be thinking about you, and praying for you and your family.
Wow, deep breath, indeed. Just when it seems hardest, it gets even harder. So here are my thoughts as you step into "even harder", wishing all the time you just didn't have to be so damn strong.
So when you land at that airport...breathe deep and think of how they felt when they did that for the last time. Happy! Looking forward to the work they would do on the property, and 10000% certain they were very well loved.
So when you drive past that crash site...breathe deep and think what they may have thought when they understood this might be "it". The enormous, genuine, completely SELFLESS love they sent your way...and Will's way... and Debi's way...and baby Reese to come... to ALL of you, giving you all their best, last, and most purely loving thoughts ever. I'm sure of that.
And when you are at that property...breathe deep and look all around you and know how much of that love is infused in everything made by man or by nature because they were there. And they were doing this all out of love.
You are in my heart, E. Anything I can do, just say the word. Hugs.
As many have said before, B & P will be with you all! From past posts it is obvious that Colorado was a special place for them that they loved.
As hard as this will be for you Erynn, It will also be another HUGE milestone that you will have accomplished and you won't have the revisiting of the place that meant so much to B & P hanging over your head any longer once the weekend is over.
Wishing the Bride and Groom all the best for this special weekend!
As you said just keep breathing and few cocktails wouldn't hurt:)
Exhale. Repeat. Love you girl.
Krissi
Darling Erynn ... this sounds like it will be a tough weekend. I'll be thinking of you as always.... I can't imagine what it will all feel like for you, sending hugs to you hunny!
XOXO Love you...wish I could be there with you :) Will be thinking about you LOTS this weekend! :)
We have discussed this at great length :) and :(
I know you will get through it okay. Remember, your feelings and emotions are your own...
Next trip = NYC!
I will be thinking of you and your family all weekend.
xoxo
Sending you lots of thoughts and prayers for this weekend! Congrats to your BIL and his wife! I hope their day is beautiful!
Thinking of you Erynn!! Just know they really are with you! xoxo
erynn-
I wish I could give you words of meaning, thoughts of courage, or inspiration for strength. To be honest, you don't need it. You live a life of meaning, have a mindful of courage, and the strength it takes to care for a beautiful family. As you head into this journey, remember you are not alone. As you inhale and exhale memories of Patrick, know that he is providing you with the air filling your lungs, and the love filling your heart. This will be a time of difficulty, but it will inspire moments of true nirvana if you allow yourself to relax and take in each breath as it is given.
I will be thinking of you and your family and hoping for the ultimate best as you experience this time in life.
xoxo
You have so many people praying for you right now and hoping that you are able to confront this hurdle with the same courage and grace that you've shown in the past 8 months. Your husband and FIL will be with you all in spirit this weekend, surrounding and covering you in love. May you find peace during what will be a bittersweet celebration.
you and your beautiful family will be in my thoughts this weekend.
right now - I'm thinking of you - arriving - breathing - you don't have a choice - the kids need you - you need you - you need Patrick -none of this can make any sense to you - it makes no sense to me - I'm a total stranger - the kids need you - how many times does that repeat in your head a day - today, tomorrow - Saturday - I give you my strength - all of it that I have - and - I'll pray for you -because there isn't much more than I can do - I'll pray - for someday - that you'll find your own strength. xo
I hope that during this weekend there will be a time, even if it is for just one brief fleeting moment that being there makes you feel at peace. Maybe it will be watching your children play surrounded by the invisible, but very real, love of their father and grandfather or perhaps it will be a special connection you feel that the last torturous few months hasn't allowed you to. Whatever it is, I wish that someone good will come out of this trip for you. As always, you are incredible and amazing.
Praying for your strength!
Hugs to you Erynn, you are in my thoughts and prayers! ((*_*))
Tears...
Chills...
Prayers...
You'll do great. Let the tears out if you have to... don't hold them back.
Be safe.
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